SquashZAG

I write this article, or commentary, if you will, from the position of an educator and as a member of the faculty at Trinity College.

Thirty-five years ago I entered the world of coaching because I believed that I had an opportunity to teach young people lessons through sport. The first 11 years of my career were at West Point and this experience had a profound effect on my life and my view of sports. At West Point there is a plaque in the Arvin Gymnasium which has a quote on it from General McArthur, which states, "On the friendly fields of strife are sewn the seeds that on later fields will bear the fruits of victory." I read this to mean that we get to grow in and through athletics in profound ways, which help us to negotiate the storms of life in our adult years. Every day in athletics there is a score board, a winner, and a loser. You plan, you strategize, you try your best (or not), and in the end there is a winner and a loser. What does this tell you about yourself?

How can you prepare for a better tomorrow, for a more satisfactory result? Life is not a dress rehearsal. You need to live every day like it was the last day of your life, like your hair was on fire. In sport we call this the awesome power of now.

Life has changed in powerful ways since I entered into coaching in 1974. Cell phones for one!

I once had a tennis team in Waco, Tx. that played against Baylor University, and after the match we stopped at a gas station, and then reloaded and drove four hours to Irving, Tx. where we were staying. This was only to find out that we had mistakenly left one of the guys in the men's room. No cell phone! I had to drive all the way back and pray that he was still standing there, which he was. I kicked him in the butt and then hugged him.

Now we have Internet, Facebook, blogs, ESPN, online news, and I am sure by the time you read this there will be three new modes of interaction.

But I digress.

Let me state with absolute sincerity that I love this squash team, and above all, I am in awe of one Baset Ashfaq Chaudhry. This young man came to us from Lahore, Pakistan (a country and a city that sees violence weekly) and as one of the top recruits in history. This gentle giant has represented everything that is good in college squash. He has been the ultimate poster child for what the NCAA espouses and all that Trinity College is about. He is a scholar-athlete, a four-time all-American, and he will graduate having won six national championships ... think about that: "Six!" If you see him on campus he is always smiling, he is sweeter than he is talented, and he has never had a bad word for anyone. He is a proud son, a proud Trinity student, and a proud Bantam. He already has a job for next year, and I have no doubt that he will continue to represent himself and us with class. Two Sundays ago Baset showed us, and tragically the world, that like us he is human. For a brief moment he lost his cool, and he has suffered in ways that none of us can ever comprehend. Baset Chaudhry is a man, he is human! But a beautiful human at that.

The point of this article is to discuss the ways the Internet has changed our lives, some for the good and tragically, in this case, for the worse.

Our team mantra is that we will not be remembered for what we do, but rather for how we do it.

Four years should not be erased by 15 seconds, but the viral nature of the Internet rules the day.

One of the things I speak to the boys about is to never lose control! Never give away control! Most of you are between the ages of 18 and 23 and think that you are bulletproof. That is not the case.

If you have had too much to drink, do not get in a car. If you are feeling unstable, do not walk alone across campus. If you are at a bar, never put your glass down unattended. And if you are upset with someone, do not pick a fight! The list goes on and on.

But here we see that life is even more unfair than we thought. Baset lost his cool, but no one was hurt, and no one was worse for wear, a simple apology would have sufficed. For 35 years this would have been a wonderful teaching moment for me. It is something that we as coaches and professors actually live for because in the absence of simple human error, we have no chance to teach.

But what is the lesson here? That life is not fair? That the Internet is your enemy? Put nothing on your Facebook that you are not willing to let the whole world see! Anyone can write anything anonymously on blogs and do this with no retort. I received over 500 e-mails asking me to step down or simply ridiculing me for poor leadership. One person wrote that "a dead fish stinks from the head down," and that this would be my legacy. Of course this was written anonymously.

All of you came and come to Trinity full of wonder, enthusiasm, and youthful hope. This is a chance for you to learn your boundaries for life, and some of the best lessons come from when we err. You then have the wonderful adults on campus like Jimmy Jones and Fred Alford and all of the other administrators who truly love you. However, take this word of advice from an old coach who has seen too much. Make sure you treat the Internet and all forms of connection with respect and fear. They can rapidly turn into much more than you could have ever expected.

If you see Baset on campus give him a hug. He could use it.

Paul Assaiante
Trinity Squash

Source:  Trinity Tripod